Hello readers,
It seems as though the search for a good Christian man to love and share Christ's love with has been a continuous rescue mission over the years. My dad said this is my biggest battle yet. I have overcame a lot of obstacles in my life and persevered through many tests. But this has been my ultimate pitfall and I realize that the more I ignore the lack of these qualities in a man, the more I become consumed with sadness. I am realizing that I cannot settle and though I tried to fight for something more than myself, for a love that wasn't consumed with lust and desire, I sacrificed the one thing that was most dear to me. In light of this newfound epiphany, I feel obligated to state that I am still searching and I will not give up on the path that the Lord has directed me on.
Live and love.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Baggage Claim
Hello readers and bloggers,
Its been awhile. September was a crazy month. I am back to do a movie review and reflection. It has been LONG overdue.
Anyways: this is about the new movie, Baggage Claim starring Paula Patton, Derek Luke, and some other stars. I liked the movie, typical romantic Black comedy. With a few stereotypical jokes and slander but what really moved me is the music and definition of love that they portrayed. I could really relate to what she desired and what most people forget about. And the most memorable line: "The magic is not in getting married, it's in staying married."
People get so obsessed over the ring, the wedding, the guests, the new home, the baby on the way but truly forget about the commitment that is involved and the love that is shared between two people to manifest God's love.
I am really going through a tough time with my boyfriend. I know this is where I can talk and let it all out. This has been my friend since 2006. An ex-boyfriend, a new lover, a friend all these years. I feel like this is a bad idea half the time that I am with him. Things are fine and great one moment and then they crash and burn the next. A year ago, in 2012, he was saying all the things I wanted to hear and I stepped back because I was trying to give another guy a chance. But then this year, he was saying all the right things again and comforting me when he was around. But this long distance relationship is so difficult. I feel like the friendship is dwindling he is in the hospital so much and he is struggling to make ends meet with his new job and new lifestyle (the straight and narrow as he calls it). We have a decent, regular conversation about once a week if that and thats hard for me. Things are getting better but I feel like we are riding along until we get to this crux, which I do not see anywhere in sight. I have lowered so many of my standards with him and I do not know if its a good thing or if its even worth it at this point. I admired Montana from the movie because she knew what she wanted in the end and could realize when the man fell short and she moved on. Why don't I allow myself to move on? Three of my friends think I am settling but they are all guys and its hard to tell anyone's feelings or actions anymore. I am just tired of being hurt and played. At least I know this guy will fight for us, will fight forever, I can't say that about too many other people in my past. At least he is willing to do things for us to try to meet my expectations but is it too much?? He wants me to teach him how to love me, teach him how to make me happy and it is a little frustrating because after 7 years of knowing each other, I just want him to know. That's not fair though, I know.
I got so many thoughts, so many issues and no where to run. I feel so good that I am fully committed but am I committed to the right thing? If I have to ask, isn't that a problem?
Uh, to be continued...
Its been awhile. September was a crazy month. I am back to do a movie review and reflection. It has been LONG overdue.
Anyways: this is about the new movie, Baggage Claim starring Paula Patton, Derek Luke, and some other stars. I liked the movie, typical romantic Black comedy. With a few stereotypical jokes and slander but what really moved me is the music and definition of love that they portrayed. I could really relate to what she desired and what most people forget about. And the most memorable line: "The magic is not in getting married, it's in staying married."
People get so obsessed over the ring, the wedding, the guests, the new home, the baby on the way but truly forget about the commitment that is involved and the love that is shared between two people to manifest God's love.
I am really going through a tough time with my boyfriend. I know this is where I can talk and let it all out. This has been my friend since 2006. An ex-boyfriend, a new lover, a friend all these years. I feel like this is a bad idea half the time that I am with him. Things are fine and great one moment and then they crash and burn the next. A year ago, in 2012, he was saying all the things I wanted to hear and I stepped back because I was trying to give another guy a chance. But then this year, he was saying all the right things again and comforting me when he was around. But this long distance relationship is so difficult. I feel like the friendship is dwindling he is in the hospital so much and he is struggling to make ends meet with his new job and new lifestyle (the straight and narrow as he calls it). We have a decent, regular conversation about once a week if that and thats hard for me. Things are getting better but I feel like we are riding along until we get to this crux, which I do not see anywhere in sight. I have lowered so many of my standards with him and I do not know if its a good thing or if its even worth it at this point. I admired Montana from the movie because she knew what she wanted in the end and could realize when the man fell short and she moved on. Why don't I allow myself to move on? Three of my friends think I am settling but they are all guys and its hard to tell anyone's feelings or actions anymore. I am just tired of being hurt and played. At least I know this guy will fight for us, will fight forever, I can't say that about too many other people in my past. At least he is willing to do things for us to try to meet my expectations but is it too much?? He wants me to teach him how to love me, teach him how to make me happy and it is a little frustrating because after 7 years of knowing each other, I just want him to know. That's not fair though, I know.
I got so many thoughts, so many issues and no where to run. I feel so good that I am fully committed but am I committed to the right thing? If I have to ask, isn't that a problem?
Uh, to be continued...
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