What I Love About You...

To the man I love:

I've been working on this list for a few days and it is all the things off the top of my head in no particular order that I love about you...

Your smile	Fidgeting is cute	Your laugh
Your love for school	Your love to learn	Your passion in your work
Your soft skin	Your curly soft hair	Your punta
Your kiss	Your belly ;)	Your love for dogs
Your conversations	Your bluntness	Your growing love for Christ
Your style	Your shyness	Your tough love
Your love for cooking/experimenting	Your ability to throw out the rule book	You listen very well when it’s something you wanna hear
Your sexy Spanish ;)	Your eyes and the light in them	Your love for black history; you inspire me
Your stubbornness (makes me feel better about mines)	Your hugs are so warm and tight	Your determination
Your sloppy writing	Your inner strength to take on challenges	Your perseverance that won’t let you give up
Your love for music	Your love for children	Your soft side
Chicken-lover (turned me over to the dark side)	Movie psychic	You dream big
Your spirit	Your warmth	Your gentle care
Your big heart	Love how you used to love me	Your respect
You healed my heart after it went through mass destruction	Your goofiness/sense of humor	SOCCER! You love the game that I respect but don’t understand
Your hate for woman music artists ;) lol jk	Your hairy self	Your big head that is even bigger than mines
Your love-making (but glad those times are behind us)	Your sensitivity shown only when its needed	Your love to read a good book
Your love for sexy cars J that I don't know the names of	Your impressive driving skills	Your manliness (no fruity stuff here)

54 and counting...

At a balanced place. Thank you Jesus for letting me sweet and meet this man of God.

Battles Raced vs. Battles Won

"It's not the battles won, it's the battles raced." - Covert Affairs 2011 Episode Title: All the Right Friends

I love this quote.  It's not about how many trophies you won or even if you win the race.  It's the courage to race.  The courage it takes to stand up for what you believe in and to stay in the game and see the race to the finish line.  It's about enjoying being in the game instead of out of it watching your life pass you by.  Do you get more satisfaction from saying you watched the greatest war on television at home everyday or from saying that you were a part of the greatest war by fighting, nursing or helping? You went through it and survived.  I've been in so many races in my life and I intend to keep racing; I may not win all of them but at least I can said I tried.  At least I can say that I was a part of it and I wasn't a coward who watched it pass me by. 

Divide the Child in Two

1 Kings 3 vs 23-28
[New King James Version]

23 - And the king said, "The one says, This is my son, who lives and your son is the dead one'; and the other says, 'No! But you son is the dead one, and my son is the living one.'"
24 - Then the king said, "Bring me a sword." So they brought a sword before the king.
25 - And the king said, "Divide the living child in two, and give half to one, and half to the other."
26 - Then the woman whose son was living spoke to the king, for she yearned with compassion for her son: and she said, "O my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him!" But the other said, "Let him be neither mine or yours, but divide him."
27 - So the king answered and said, "Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him; she is his mother."
28 - And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had rendered; and they feared the king, for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to administer justice.


So last night/this morning when I got home at 3 in the morning, I started reading 1 Kings and I am on chapter 5 now, it was so intriguing.  But I had to stop and read these verses and quote them because there is a lot of Love Talks in this excerpt.  First of all, you have to read the whole story to get the full effect but know this: the Lord blessed Solomon with wisdom in the previous chapter.  Solomon could have guessed who the mother was and given the child to that person.  He could have killed the child without even a question.  But that's what I love about true love.  That mother was so distraught about seeing her child die, she was willing to let the other woman have him in order to save his life.  The other mother had revenge and jealousy in her heart and wanted to bring the woman down to her suffering and experience the misery she was feeling, not to mention her selfishness.  Many times we choose a side because of our inclination/devotion to a person whether it be a friend or family member but sometimes we need to take a step back and execute wisdom much like Solomon did.  We need to be neutral and present a situation that will bring forth peace amongst brethren rather than more quarrel.  Can you imagine watching your own child cut in half when you had the power to stop it? I know I couldn't and I'm not even a mother yet.  But that is what we do sometimes, we watch friendships and relationships get severed instead of trying to cooperate, negotiate or put our desires aside for the benefit of the thing we are fighting about.  That is why I can't stand when couples fight over children.  Love your children and do what is best for the child, not for either side. Love speaks up when needed and sacrifices in times of tragedy.

After all is Said and Done...

Man, talk about an uplifting conversation I just had not too long ago.  It's funny when you put all the cards on the table, it's like watching all the tiny pieces fit together, why each person made a certain move at a certain time and place.  It was like going over a chess game in my mind.  There are so many things which made sense that might not have been very clear before.  I feel such a release.  You know when the Lord blesses you with true love, you understand what mistakes you made and how you made them.  You probably think this is crazy.  But even with all I know and with him truly being with her, I feel like that story I once read before.  I feel like my heart is on fire...burning and I am just glad that I'm able to experience it to the fullest of decree.  I could go on writing these letters a day for the rest of my life.  I could go on living through life loving God and be happy even it means being single as long as I'm true to my heart.  Yeah, we started off for all the wrong reasons and possible ruined it for all the wrong reasons.  But never in my life have I felt that my decision, troublesome as it may have been, could've been the best thing that I ever done. I would not have gotten here or seen the things I saw.  It brings new meaning to the word Love.  The Lord did not give up on me.  He gave me a year and I got here in 11 months. Amazing! Isn't our God awesome?  If you don't feel the love, you don't need to be reading this.  Because Love Talks, and it talked to me tonight. 

1 John 3 vs 16-23

The Outworking of Love
[New King James Version]

16 - By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
17 - But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?
18 - My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.
19 - And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.
20 - For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.
21 - Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.
22 - And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commmandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 
23 - And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

Now when you read this passage there are so many ideals here that can be overlooked if you are not paying attention.  Vs. 16: Christ laid down His life for us and are we willing to do that for the person we love, are we willing to die for God, let alone even stand up for Him?  Are we willing to jump in front of a bullet or receive pain to protect those we love and show the world we love them including our Lord Jesus Christ?  Vs. 17: If you have something and someone needs it more than you are you willing to give it to that person?  How can you say you love God but you aren't willing to sacrifice for your neighbors or even for Him?  Can you let that money go? Can you let that woman or man in your life go? Can you watch your life crumble before you for love so that you can receive something better in the name of the Lord? If we are going to be Christ-like we have to be able to do as He did for us. Vs. 18: This is the hard one right here. This is something that I, as a Christian, need to work on.  You can't just tell the Lord that you love Him and then never pray, never read your Bible, never thank Him or lift Him up. There has to be actions to back that up and it has to be true.  You have to love people so that they know it, so that when it comes time to profess it they know it and will not doubt it.  "Love is not sentiment, but deeds." God shows us he loves us all the time by blessing us and picking us up when we are down and getting us to and through the next storm.  Are you not showing that same kind of love to your partners, sons, daughters, parents, family, friends?  Vs. 19: Everyday is a test and everyday is a step closer to a place in the kingdom of heaven.  We must show that we can love God and others to pass the test.  We have to show a greater love to our enemies to people all around us.  Judgement Day is coming and our hearts need to prove to God that we loved God, and we loved all. Vs. 20: Now we are human and we do slip up but if we show that we generally strive to love as God loves us; God knows all things so he knows what we've done and he knows at times we will doubt ourselves, Him and love itself.  He will judge us accordingly.  But we must continually stay on the narrow path and not stray so far that we find another one. Vs. 21: "Love banishes self-condemnation." We tend to be hard on ourselves but once we accept love in our life as God would have wanted us our relationship and our love for God grows more confident, we believe in Him so much more. I don't know about you but when I do a good deed and my heart is in the right place, I just thank God and I feel like He is going to bless that person or bless me and it feels good. Vs. 22: Who doesn't want answered prayer? We receive exactly what we ask for because our heart is in the right place.  Our hearts share the love of Christ.  That's an amazing gift. We might have to be patient but we know that's it's already in tow for us.  I've never really asked for anything in my prayers but answers to my questions...maybe that's why I'm always confused.  I never try to figure out what I want and to ask for it, I'm always asking the Lord to tell me what I want and I work it out myself poorly, of course. Vs. 23: God is re-iterating the commandment in case we should forget.  It is written, therefore it must be done.  We need to remember that we must love God first with all of us and love one another second.  Everyone else comes after which leaves ourselves, I will never forget what I learned in elementary school: JOY which stands for Jesus, Others, then You.

Taking Love for Granted

Events can happen so fast and people are forced to accept the new changes and find a way to cope.

My friend just lost her sister, her supporter, her sister's husband, and her nephew in one day.  She is forced to deal with three deaths and find a way to keep going on. 

But today's message is about taking love for granted, that accident this morning made me realize that I need to tell the people around me that I love them and not to to take them for granted.  I need to lift them up in God's name.  There were some people who I hadn't talked to in awhile but I needed to let them know that I love them and that they are always in my heart and on my mind. I sent my lover a text message even though I'm supposed to be cutting off communication with him.  I had to tell him that I loved him, I didn't want the last thing I ever said to him to be was I'm never talking to you again call my mother about the dog.  How wack is that? We need to remember that God's love is a gift and it is precious just like life here on Earth is short and precious but we are able to experience a spriritual dynamic between two people called love....
To be continued

What is the Second Most Important Thing?

"And the second like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." [see first blog].  Mark 12 vs. 31

Let's explore this, shall we?  Loving your neigbor as you love yourself, sounds easy right but is it?  That means treating your neighbor as you would want to be treated and respecting them as you respect yourself.  You would want to have the utmost care for yourself, do you give others the utmost care?  Does neighbor here imply that this person must be close to you as the neighbor who sleeps in the house next to yours? No neighbor means those around you; those who you run into whether they be friends or strangers.  Too many people are concerned about loving themselves and as humans we tend to be some selfish creatures but what if we took all that energy and focused some of it on the souls around us.  What if we took the time to see if someone else needed our help instead of begging for it constantly when most of us are pretty well off. What if we did something nice for other people instead of always doing something nice for ourselves.  Love your neighbor well, as the Father above loves us.  This is a hard task to do because some people do rub us the wrong way but we just have to love them and pray for them instead of cursing them out or giving them a hard time.  It didn't say you had to like your neighbor, just love them and if you can't be around them then don't.  So my neighbors who might be reading this....I love you.

Signed Jaszy

Oh What a Tangled Web we Weave

So I got the man that I love to tell me that he doesn't love me anymore.  I am going to use that to feed my energy to move on.  It is going to take some time but at least now I don't have anything to hold on to because he left me nothing to hold on to.  I will not have to tell myself, "but he still loves me, there is still hope" because it is no longer true.  And I have conviction that he wouldn't lie to me, not again anyway.  I won't be conversating with him anymore and I told him he can talk to my mother about coming to see the dog.  Oh yeah did I tell you we have a dog together.  Long story.  Another blog.



I am probably going to regret this one day but at least I will be good for now.

I Love You

This is a special blog to a special person.

A person that I took advantage of and I broke his heart August 2010 but I didn't mean to.  I thought that if I could get all my issues straight and get rid of all my impure thoughts and fight the devil off I would win so much more in the end.  I wanted to see what it was like with someone who inspired me to pick up my life back with God but maybe that was all he was there for.

But you.

You, the one I long for at night and when I with any other person.  You, whom I still love despite you choosing her over me. You, whom I think about first thing in the morning after God and last thing before I go to sleep.  I need to give up, I need to let go.  You said it yourself you have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world right now (her).  You said it yourself, she is the most beautiful woman you ever laid eyes on (her).  Who am I to stand in the way of you falling love and taking up your wife in Christ.  You want to be friends, but are we not deceiving her: you texting me you love me and me calling you to my bed to hold me and kiss me like you used to.  And what about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8? Is this really love? Or is the devil trying to drag me into the realms of evil and sin.  How can you say you love me when you do not trust me? How can you say you love me when you keep that record of wrong against me?  Am I foolish to continue to let my heart be entrusted to you.  I think you care for me because maybe you used to love me and you loved me for so long.  But now you are lying to yourself.  You say you have forgiven me, thank you.  I love you but I don't know how long I can go on. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs but rejoices in the truth.  It always protects, it always believes, always hopes, always trust.  Love never fails.

What is the Most Important Thing?

The pastor at the church I was visiting last Sunday asked us what is the most important thing in life?

So, basically what is the first commandment?

"Jesus answered him, 'The first of all the commandments is: "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,  and with all your strength'."

I really took this home with me because I was forgetting that the Lord is the one I should be loving, He is ultimately the one who will bring me the man for me.  He will be the one to pick me up out of hard times.  He will never leave me and He will take my burdens and forgive me for all my sins. I was looking in all the wrong places for love when I should've been looking up to the heavens.  I have a broken heart that only God can mend so are you in a relationship with God or with everyone else.  Who is more important?