I Love You

This is a special blog to a special person.

A person that I took advantage of and I broke his heart August 2010 but I didn't mean to.  I thought that if I could get all my issues straight and get rid of all my impure thoughts and fight the devil off I would win so much more in the end.  I wanted to see what it was like with someone who inspired me to pick up my life back with God but maybe that was all he was there for.

But you.

You, the one I long for at night and when I with any other person.  You, whom I still love despite you choosing her over me. You, whom I think about first thing in the morning after God and last thing before I go to sleep.  I need to give up, I need to let go.  You said it yourself you have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world right now (her).  You said it yourself, she is the most beautiful woman you ever laid eyes on (her).  Who am I to stand in the way of you falling love and taking up your wife in Christ.  You want to be friends, but are we not deceiving her: you texting me you love me and me calling you to my bed to hold me and kiss me like you used to.  And what about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8? Is this really love? Or is the devil trying to drag me into the realms of evil and sin.  How can you say you love me when you do not trust me? How can you say you love me when you keep that record of wrong against me?  Am I foolish to continue to let my heart be entrusted to you.  I think you care for me because maybe you used to love me and you loved me for so long.  But now you are lying to yourself.  You say you have forgiven me, thank you.  I love you but I don't know how long I can go on. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs but rejoices in the truth.  It always protects, it always believes, always hopes, always trust.  Love never fails.